Dog talk

I'm learning how to talk to the dog.
Stay. Down. Here. Good girl.
Deep stuff. The dog looks at me knowing I'm giving her life defining commands. Dog talk is easy, as long as you remember one thing: you have to mean what you say. Really mean it. Dogs have a built in bullshit detector. Never fails. You mean it, the dog will take notice. You don't mean it, she won't even look at you. It's a good system, but you have to keep the storyline simple.
Sit.